i am 23 and have horses in a horse community. my neighbor is 74 and i think he likes me. he keeps calling me and says some things that make me really uncomfortable. i know he is not lonely because he is married and has children who visit him freaquently. how do i tell him to back off without hurting his feelings?
Answers:
You could stop answering the phone or you could be vague and appear uninterested and also not really paying attention. If you are just being polite and he thinks you are showing interest he's going to keep calling you. Most people can figure out they're not liked when they are casually blown off.
It sounds terrible, but it is one of the most indirect ways to show you not interested. If it persists tho, you need to tell him you are not comfortable and he needs to back off. That whole situation is really creepy and i wish you the best of luck.
pedophile LOL
Just stop answering the phone. Easy as pie!!
You can be lonely and married at the same time. Betcha had no idea, did ya?...Oh, and one other thing: Someday you'll be 74 and some 23 year old will be calling YOU old. What goes around comes around, ya know...
you could not answer when hes calling and just say you are really busy if he sees you. No offense, but that guy sounds like a wierdo.
just stop answering his calls, hell get the hint
Get caller ID if you don't already have it and just don't answer his calls. He should get the idea, especially if he lives close enough to know you are home.
Just come right out and tell him. Maybe you might ask him what exactly he wants. If you are not comfortable with his answer then tell to F@#K off in plain english.
just stop answering the phone. if that doesnt work then tell him to please stop calling me because you are saying things that are making me uncomfortable and if you call me again i will call the police.
Do nothing. I mean NOTHING. Ignore the perv. He will eventualy go away, or start stalking you. If he starts to stalk, don't mess around. Call the cops. Threaten to tell his wife.
Yeah, you may be of age, but if he's 74, I'd call him a sick pedophile too. Wow. You are worried about hurting his feelings? Start calling him gramps, maybe he'll catch on.
If he calls, don't answer the phone or return his calls. If you see him in passing, say hello and walk off. If he tries to talk to you, tell him you are on a busy schedule and need to go. I think he will get the idea. Creepy!
Ask him every time he calls, so hows your wife. Send a message that you don't like him. If you ever see him outside of your house, don't wave or make ant contact. The cold sh older should make him back off. You can also end you conversations fast by when he says hi, say o I'm sorry, I'm cooking, then say bye and hang up. If you make a lot of excuses he will get board and leave you alone.
Ew.. don't answer his calls, don't talk to him, don't do anything that has to do with him. That's not right.
Just tell him the truth - that he's making you uncomfortable and that you'd like him to stop. If he listens, you're done, but if not you'll have to look into more severe ways of handling the situation and should definately involve another member of the community who may have a greater influence on him then just you alone. Good luck :-)
change your number.
Ask him how you can get rid of a bad case of crabs. Scratch yourself frequently.
you should tell him about how much he is
creeping you out, and if he keeps doing
that, you can, if you Really have to,
file a harrassment charge.
do you have caller id? if so, just
screen your calls, make sure its not
him before you pick up.
hope this creep leaves you alone.
best of luck.
This person is saying things that make you feel uncomfortable - clearly he has an impaired understanding of what's socially acceptable, so I wouldn't be too gentle with his feelings. You're within your rights to tell him that his attention is unwelcome and inappropriate. If you feel uncomfortable with that, at the very least you should control the direction of the conversation - next time he calls, be short and firm. Ask him why he's calling, provide whatever info he needs and politely end the call. You can say something like "I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk right now." Repeat this every time he calls and he'll start to get the idea.
Maybe you remind him of one of his kids or grandkids- a lot of people that age have tendency to get that way when they miss someone like that. I would turn this situation on its head and call his wife when he's not around, and tell her what has been going on. It may be that her husband has a medical problem that she's not aware of and he needs to be seen by a physician. People his age can suffer from a whole host of problems that make them behave in strange ways- and Alzheimer's is high on the list in his case. He may also have a history of this kind of behavior, in which case you need to be even more proactive about letting his wife and his adult children know about what he's doing to you. This would ordinarily be considered harrassment, but because of the gentleman's age, I would be more concerned about medical or mental problems. You can call the phone company and ask to have an unlisted number installed- that will cut down on the number of calls you get from this person. As a last resort, and only if he says things that are sexually explicit or are threatening to you in some way, I would call the police or sheriff in your area and report the guy for harrassment or making obscene phone calls. The authorities DO track down people who do this, and if the accusation is warranted, your neighbor could be fined or prosecuted, or both. Good luck, and I hope this helps.
To be honest, there is no way to be nice about it. If you are subtle, this guy is still going to think he has a chance. Believe me, I've tried time and time again to let a guy down nicely or try and nicely tell someone I wasnt interested. Guys, no matter what their age, think between their legs and therefore are told, she didnt mean it. I would just tell him next time he calls and says something that makes you uncomfortable 'hey, that makes me uncomfortable.' Be blunt and ask him why he is saying the things he says. No matter what he says, be prepared to answer. More than likely he will say somthing like 'I didnt mean anything by it' and you can just tell him 'good, I hope not and lets not' and just tell him you dont appreciate it. Be prepared for him to be awkward or not speak anymore. He will either be embarrassed or pissed off. You just need to make it clear before it gets any worse
I am not sure why you are worried about hurting his feelings, he is not concerned with his wife's feelings! Let him know that you do not appreciate his behavior, do not answer his calls, be short with him when your paths cross, and he will most likely go his merry way--if not, then tell him you will go to his wife, and if necessary do so !!
Next time he calls, just say immediately that neither you or your family are comfortable with his calls and you'd like him to stop. Don't discuss it or debate it, just say it and hang up. If he persists, change your number.
Tell him he has no right to talk to you that way, anythign that makes you uncomfortable is probably nothing a old guy hould be saying. Tell him to back off.
Get a referee's whistle and set it by your phone. The next time he calls, blow the whistle as loud as you can into the phone. That should get your point across.
You have a lot of good answer choices here. You don't say if the things he says are of a direct sexual nature...if so, then you need to be very direct as well and say, "Mr.________(don't call him by his first name) that is unacceptable! You are a nice man, but I am not interested in you in that way." A lot of people his age are actually very lonely, even when surrounded by family. He still wants someone to acknowledge that he is wanted -probably more as a human in general than a "man." If you tell him directly that you can't handle the innuendoes, he may back off. He may not realize you don't welcome the attention, and is just trying to flatter you. If so, this should work. If he is actually a dirty old man, then you may have to me more direct (rude) as others have mentioned, and tell him to quit calling.
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